


Release

by onlyhereforellick



Series: Angstober '20 [17]
Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M, fictober 20
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:26:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27542290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onlyhereforellick/pseuds/onlyhereforellick
Summary: Fictober '20 - "Give me a minute or an hour."
Relationships: Ellie Bishop/Nick Torres
Series: Angstober '20 [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1952188
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	Release

**Author's Note:**

> Fictober '20 - "Give me a minute or an hour."

She could feel the shift in the air before the screen door even slammed shut. Feel his presence without needing to hear his boots crunch the leaves. The way he walked was all the confirmation she needed and yet Ellie hadn’t even laid eyes on him.

Her arm swung back in anticipation, coiling for the release, axe poised precisely over its target before flying down to hit its mark.

Wood splintered in two and she heard the pause in Nick’s step. Ellie couldn’t help the small grin that broke out across her hidden face. Bending down she tossed the fresh cut firewood into the quickly growing discard pile, and selected her next unfortunate target.

The rhythm of chopping wood had always brought Ellie calm. It was the way of restoring order to her swirling heart. She couldn’t always control her heart, her feelings—and if she’d learned anything, certainly not her relationships—but she could control chopping wood. She could bring about a steady pace and have waves of peace roll over her restless soul.

In keeping time despite Nick’s close presence, only a few feet behind her it seemed, Ellie lifted her arm and axe once again.

“I’m not leaving, Ellie.” It was gruff and it wasn’t a question.

Why on God’s green Earth did Nick choose the exact moment her arm released to slice through the air to finally speak up was beyond Ellie.

His rough voice, full of emotion, caught her off guard and the axe missed its target- splintering the wood too far left, barely scalping the bark on one side. Ellie muttered a curse under her breath as she angrily tossed her first mistake aside.

Selecting a new piece and pointedly placing it on the chopping block, Ellie refused to turn around. Stepping back as her arm raised and readied her axe, Ellie refocused on the task at hand.

An echoing chop was her only reply.

Nick wasn’t fazed apparently. “I know you don’t want to speak to me, and I don’t blame you,” the frustrated sigh of his permeated her bones. “I was an ass and there’s no excuse for that.”

The tears that threatened in the corner of her eyes spurred her on. Rushing to replace her chopped wood with a fresh piece. Ellie continued to keep her back to him, she couldn’t risk seeing his face right now. She knew she’d cave. It was the pathetic weakness of her heart that would take one look at his sure to be apologetic face and in less than a second she’d cave. The same face he wore in the hospital, the one that got her admitting something out loud she swore she never would. Even if it was a scraping of a confession, it had been enough. She’d felt the shift, and god she swore he had too.

But it was all in her head. It always had been. It always would be.

Axe coiled and within seconds it was connecting forcefully with its target.

“Can I just _try_ to explain myself, El? What you overheard- well, it was a bold-faced lie,” Nick started and Ellie saw red.

She jerkily bent down to retrieve her next victim before finally breaking her vow of silence, “Give me a minute or an hour.” A low, dark chuckle escaped her lips as her arm drew back, “Actually give me a day, or better yet Nick- give me a _week_. That shouldn’t be hard for you anyways,” the bite in her tone not even attempting to be masked.

The thought of him breaking all contact for over a week after he _knew- he knew_ \- she’d heard him say those things and taken off…it was unbearably painful. He knew he was the cause and he hadn’t said a word. Hadn’t reached out. Hadn’t even come sooner.

The axe swung with more power and pent up anger than she expected- promptly slicing the wood cleanly and getting stuck in the tree stump chopping block.

_Of fucking course_ , Ellie moaned internally.

Nick stuttered before managing a reply as she bent to pull out her axe as gracefully as possible. “I- I know I took a week, but it wasn’t my—“

Ellie swung around so fast it shocked Nick silent. His mouth half open ready to finish his sentence. Her hand flew up, palm open to stop him, “Don’t you _dare_ say it wasn’t your idea Nicholas Torres.” Ellie seethed, her nostrils flaring for sure. “Don’t you _dare_ tell me you wanted to come sooner- because if you _had_ wanted to? _You would have_. Nicholas Torres listens to no man, right? Nicholas Torres is on no one’s team, right? So do _not_ -" she started toward him with clenched teeth, “tell me- it wasn’t your idea.”

Nick was frozen and Ellie was just getting heated up. Another step towards him and her hadn’t morphed to point a finger into his chest bone. “Because then I’d have to tell you falling in love with you wasn’t _my_ idea and we both know I don’t enjoy lying. So don’t lie to me, Nick. Don’t. Because I would never lie to you, _never_.” Ellie took a half step back as her anger slowly faded, replaced swiftly with resignation before continuing. “So when I tell you now to give me a minute, an hour, a day, a week, hell maybe even a month or a year because I don’t know if I can do this-“ she gestured between them, “anymore, I’d hope you’d respect that.”

Nick stood silent, still speechless from her speech.

Ellie glanced up at the sky- the colors of fire painting the low hanging clouds as the sun set on a rather ugly day despite the beauty above. “You know why I chop wood, Nick?”

The seemingly random question caught him off guard and his head just cocked to the side.

“It gives me peace, it gives me control. When I can’t control my own wayward heart, it brings order. When I don’t know if I can continue on, it gives me structure. And when I don’t know if I can love you anymore, it gives me release.”

His brow furrowed at the end of her explanation, yet Ellie felt lighter than ever getting that off her chest as she brushed past him to get back inside.

She’d found her release- release in the rhythm.


End file.
